SA GERMANY

I have worked almost non-stop since I arrived in Germany. A week after I was expatriated here, I immediately started working. I have changed employers twice since then, with only 1-2 weeks off between jobs. The longest I was off from work was when I took 7 months off after I gave birth, with 3 ½ months paid in full (net salary).

Based on my first-hand experiences, I can say that the German mindset is NOT really kind to Working Mothers. No wonder, in comparison to the rest of European women, there are fewer working German women.

The societal perspective of disparagingly describing working mothers as Rabenmütter still exists. Loosely translated as “cruel mother”, a lot of mothers are quick to throw this word around about mothers who they deem uncaring for going back to work so early. Interestingly, the fact that this is the norm in most European countries does not seem to matter.

Here, you get the impression that being a mother and having a career is mutually exclusive. And some mothers even let psychological pressure dictate their decision about combining motherhood and career.

I have defied the Rabenmütter prejudice. And the only way I will change my mind is when there are foreseeable problems, which only my own husband and I could judge. I would not let anyone outside our family unit (whose advise will anyway be based only on a few hours of being with us and on experiences different from ours) make me doubt my decisions ever again.

Happy am I for being blessed with a husband who belongs to the minority (20%, says Bamberg Institute for Family Studies) of German fathers who are willing to have significant participation in raising their children. Heck, J is even planning on taking parental leave once Maximillian is born and share the temporary stay-at-home parenting with me. Fortunately, traditional gender roles are not in his mindset.

The lack of day-care facilities that do accept children under the age of 3 is yet another factor. Obviously, if you cannot find a good place for your child, you have no choice but to stay home.

My family got lucky with this. Albeit on the expensive side, we are still lucky to have been given access to excellent child-care (bilingual, even) facilities. Honestly, if we weren’t so lucky, I would not have been so confident with my decision of being a working mom.

Benefits and taxes seem generous but, believe me, they aren’t.

Yes, we are allowed to take 3 years of maternity leave. However, only 3 ½ months are paid.

Each child is entitled to receive until they are 18 allowances (kindergeld) of 154€ per month. Considering the cost of child-care facilities and everything else, that isn’t really much. In addition, you cannot really rely on tax-breaks for child-related expenses to count much.

Low birth-rate and lack of qualified people in the work force now plagues Germany. With the median age rising and the birth rate declining, the German government has finally realized that something needs to be done. They need to make changes so more moms can go out in the work force. The government is crazy with proposals on how this can be achieved. Some of the proposed solutions are laughable, though, imho. Additional tax breaks and financial benefits will not solve the problem. They should think of changing the infrastructure to allow more women to combine parenting and career.

Until that happens, I will continue to ignore Rabenmütter innuendos and solve problems as we (my husband and I) see fit.
pinayexpat